I started working outside of our
home, weekends and one night a week, to raise money for our adoption. At first I felt like I was abandoning my
family. I worried about my kids being
fed, having their basic needs being met, and even about our daughter getting to
gymnastic class on time. How would she
get her hair done? Would she be dressed
in her leotard? The little details of
life that I thought about every time I left the house with the girls were in my
head and how would they get met. Not
only that, but I felt that I would be missing our on their lives. I wouldn’t be there. This saddened me tremendously. I cried and argued with God. I didn’t understand why I had to go and work
outside of our home. I knew that we
needed money for our adoption, but I didn’t know at what cost to my
family.
We started
praying about me getting a job. We
prayed that if God didn’t want me to work outside of our home that I wouldn’t
get a call for an interview. Two days
later, I got a call for an interview. We
prayed that if God didn’t want me to get the job that it would not be offered
to me. The job was offered to me. The hours were perfect so that my husband
would be home for childcare. It was a
job that I could do without much worry.
It seemed like a good fit for me, but what about my family? The night before my first day of orientation
I was at Bible study. The leader of the
group was closing in prayer. As she
prayed I felt God’s presence. I had a peace and I felt God telling me to
trust Him.
I started
my new job trying to trust God, but still struggling with worries about my
kids. Now after a couple of months I’ve
found a new sense of pride in my husband.
I think that God saw him for all that he is. I just needed to get out of the way so that
he could be the husband/dad that he was meant to be. As I stepped back a little, he was able to
step forward. He takes care of the girls
while I’m working, not always the way I would, but he’s not me. He does it in his own way. All those little details that I worried about
are taken care of in ways that I hadn’t expected. I found out that my daughter can put her own
hair in a ponytail if she has to, and she can tell her daddy what she needs and
even more of what she doesn’t need, but just wants.
Not only is
he an amazing Dad, but he’s also an amazing husband. He helps me get a break even if I’m not
working. If I need a nap he takes the
girls out for a while. He also helps me
around the house by clearing off the table after dinner, vacuuming, and picking
up the living room. (Yes, I will admit
that our house is usually a mess, but that’s life with two little ones whether
I’m working outside of our home or not).
He continually is buying milk and diapers on his way home from work
which may not seem like much, but it is.
I am still adjusting to the busyness of life, but I am so proud of my
husband! He even reads the girls a story
out of their kid Bible almost every night before bed. He also is willing to pray with me and gives
me sound biblical godly advice. I really
have a growing love and appreciation for my husband. I feel really blessed to have him in my life.
During our
whole adoption process I’ve been praying that God would prepare our family for
this adoption. I’ve also been praying
for our marriage. I really feel like God
is answering my prayers. It’s not the
way I would have chosen for myself, but God knows everything and His ways are
the best. I will always struggle with
things, but I trust God in His pure goodness that He will guide me and show me
the way to go. And I thank my husband
for just being who he is, I love you!
